Amazon makes billions annually from drunken shoppers

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Drunken Amazon shopping; an American pastime
Image: Amazon

Disclaimer: The Burn-In is not necessarily advocating drinking, getting soused, and doing so publically. Nor are we not not advocating it. In fact, all we are advocating is doing things responsibly….especially when you shop online for, say, that next crystal chandelier that will deck out your bedroom in just the right way (and don’t forget the expert installation…because you know, that’s essential).

Have you found yourself in this scenario? You’re three sheets to the wind and you have some disposable income that’s aching to be used on an idiotic purchase. You stumble across this Rosewood Living Room set on Amazon.

“$15,000?” you drunkenly mutter while seriously pondering wasting an absurd amount of money. Deep down, you know these thoughts are the result of downing 6 to 10 Nitro beers.

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Then again, it might be cool if your living room looked like the waiting area of a mid-scale Chinese restaurant. Add to cart. You check out, pass out, then wake up the next morning with no recollection of ordering your new living room set.

Like a lot of things—interacting in social situations, public speaking, talking to coworkers, generally living life—alcohol makes things easier. That includes online shopping. In fact, booze makes drunk buying so easy, it’s estimated Americans spend roughly $45 billion on intoxicated purchases each year.

Drinking and Shopping: A New National Pastime

A survey conducted by business and tech blog The Hustle found the average American spends $444 a year on drunken purchases.

These survey results, of course, come with some asterisks. The Hustle surveyed approximately 2,000 alcohol-guzzling adult Americans, all of which are readers of the blog.

Seeing as it is read by individuals with higher than average incomes, the survey’s results probably skew high. Similarly, Hustle’s subscriber-base probably does more online shopping than your average American.

Still, these results offer a fascinating look at people who have the means to piss away their money on predictably dumb things. For instance, it found women drunk shop only slightly more than men. Eighty percent of female respondents said they made purchases while intoxicated as opposed to 78 percent of men.

Also, the most prolific drunk shoppers by age were Millennials (82 percent) and Generation Xers (79 percent). Baby Boomers came in last place with 69 percent of respondents saying they’ve shopped while sloshed.

Another surprising result is the geographic breakdown of drunken shoppers. Predictably, the coasts ranked high on the list. However, it’s the South that excels at drinking and shopping.

Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, and South Carolina all exceeded the national average. Kentuckians turned out to be the most egregious offenders, spending an average of $742 annually while blitzed.

Amazon Rules Everything

Unsurprisingly, the Hustle’s survey found 85 percent of Americans shop at Amazon when they are drunk.

eBay came in second as only 21 percent of respondents made bids while drunk. Additionally, 12 percent of Hustle readers hit up Etsy when soused.

Earlier this month, a survey by Feedvisor found that 74 percent of consumers go straight to Amazon when they plan on making an online purchase. That’s a staggering number; one that reveals even in a drunken stupor, you know where to go to buy a mushroom farm growth kit.